Archive for October 9th, 2013

Nudge Nudge Wink Wink, Feminist on Penis Size

This was sent to me by a feminist:

Dream Penis Size Chart

Dream Penis Size Chart

I don’t know how this was calculated but it claims that an ideal penis length is between 7 1/4 and 8 1/4 inches and between 6 1/4 and 6 1/2 inches in circumference which is an “A” category.  Thankfully there are B, C & D categories for us guys to fit into.  Just don’t be an “E” category.

Of course, she wants a reaction.  “Well?”  She says, with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.  I just smile, after all we are all equal.

 

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My Trimmer – A Rant

trimmer

 

This is my trimmer. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

My trimmer is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.

My trimmer, without me, is useless. Without my trimmer, I am useless. I must trim my hair true. I must trim straighter than anyone else who contemplates manscaping. I must be ‘scaped. I will…

My trimmer and I know that what counts in this process is not the hairs we trim, the noise of our trimmer, nor the mess we make. We know that my trimmer is not for lady gardens! We will trim…

My trimmer is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its gradients. I will keep my trimmer clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will…

Before God, I swear this creed. My trimmer and I are the defenders of my hair. We are the masters of our hair. We are the saviors of my life.

So be it, until victory is ours and there is no enemy who uses it for lady gardens, but peace!

Unintended Consequenses of Feminism – Hair

A female colleague comes into the office on a Monday after the weekend and she is beeming.  She has had her hair done over the weekend and it clearly cost in terms of time and money. 

She receives a number of compliments from her female coworkers but nothing from the male contingent.  Now, she is upset by this and loudly states that the men are useless and don’t notice anything women do.  Perhaps because she noticed that I heard her, attention is directed my way.

(Her) You, why you don’t say anything nice about my hair?

(Me) Sorry, not allowed to.

(Her) Why, you don’t have opinion?

(Me) I do, but we can’t say anything as directed in the (gender and diversity) training we had as that could be interpreted as unwelcome comments.

(Her) Unbelievable, I put a lot of effort into this.

Whist her reaction could be predicted, she had gone to a lot of effort, the results were good and it was important to her that she had validation.  The most interesting reaction though was of her female colleagues.  Most of them were wide eyed and quite surprised.

Should they have been?  You could argue not.  We all did the same training but it became clear, especially after a few conversations outside the office, that they had not seen where it could lead.

So, to conclude, ten years ago you could have said it looks goods, very nice etc and she would have been happy.  Now, she feels upset.  You could argue that she shouldn’t seek validation from others but a simple 30 second exchange would have given her a little morale boost for the rest of the day.

Thoughts?