The Sharon Stone moment

So, at a club and have had 2/3 drinks.  My friends have gone home but I had joined them late, was not drunk and for some reason the drink wasn’t going down that easily.  I don’t like to waste though, so I thought I’d take a seat and finish the drink before heading home.

A woman sits down opposite and does an extremely blatant Sharon Stone moment (see Basic Instinct).  She was attractive, her lady bits were well groomed and she’s seen that I’ve noticed although I’m turning away.  She asks if I had noticed and, regrettably, I said yes.

Cue passionate rant on how its her right to show her lady bits in public but its no-ones right to notice.  Now, other than saying yes I had noticed, I made no comment, did not stare, drool uncontrollably or make any kind of move.  Because she’s getting worked up, I abandon my drink and walk home.

People can dress as they wish (within reason) but I’m sure hell would be raised if my genitals were visible at the club.  Strikes me as a marked double standard.  I am curious what she would have said though, if I had said no.

In an unconnected incident, a group of young women were escorted from the club a few weeks later.  They were all wearing skin tight dresses that they pulled up on the dance floor.  Yep, no underwear.


Boobs on Holiday

And what I mean by that is boobs seen on holiday.

And to provide further clarity, topless sunbathing on European beaches.

I don’t really like the beach.  I don’t mind climbing rocks or investigating rock pools but sunbathing annoys me.  I don’t know why.  So, I only go to the beach for other people.  Spending time with family or friends.  What strikes me on European beaches is the number of topless sunbathers plus the number of women who are quite happy to walk around topless, swim or play sports.  It seems as long as it stays on the beach its accepted.  There doesn’t seem to be any trouble, no harassment and from what I could gather, the main problem these women face is being caught on camera and being posted on the internet.

So, on this particular day we went to the beach.  Not having been there before we didn’t appreciate how big it was and how few points there were to get down to the sand.  We didn’t pick the best access point and ended up walking along the sand for quite a while to get to a large and clear enough spot.

I have a pretty good poker face.  In fact

I am Jacks sense of self control

I am Jacks sense of self control

There were a huge number of stunning, topless women, confident and happy.  But, I got troubled.  And it still bothers me now thinking back on it ten years on.

A dad, walking along the beach with his young teenage topless daughter.  In stark contrast to these women who wanted to bare their breasts, could an underage make a decision to do so and understand the potential sexual attraction that might be caused?  This youngster surely couldn’t?  It felt wrong then, feels wrong now.  My partner felt the same way.

Surely the dad should have realised it was crossing a line?

Why it is okay to be fat

I’m somewhat a little late to this party, but please watch the video below.  If you haven’t already seen it, it is an explanation of why it is okay to be fat and why being fat is not as bad for you as has been made out.

People on YouTube and elsewhere on the internet have already commented on some of the science presented.  I will comment on the paradox presented.  Medical professionals will treat the most severe forms of type 2 diabetes and these generally present themselves in people who are obese.  Therefore a person in a normal weight range is not usually going to present symptoms as extreme and therefore not require the most aggressive treatments.  Lastly (on this), it is not really a paradox.  It is playing on a quirky set of statistics and circumstances.

From the beginning, Golda can be identified as someone with an unhealthy relationship with food.  Being put on a diet at 4 years old is not healthy.  It has clearly developed a continuing unhealthy relationship with food.

Jumping from fad diet to fad diet doesn’t work in the long term.  When you start a fad diet, you generally loose water weight and the initial results can be quite dramatic.  You can loose 1 – 5 pounds per week, depending on the extremes of the diet  This will level out and you will stop loosing weight.  The general trend thereafter is too lose heart, come off the diet, eat what you used to eat and put on all or if not more, of the weight you had lost.

What does work?

Calories in vs. calories out.  If you burn off more calories than you eat you will lose weight.  Take in more, and you will put weight on.  It is brilliantly simple.  I recommend using this as a guide:

IIFYM Calculator

So, what is my problem with the talk by Golda?

It is abdication of responsibility.  It is the claim that people who lose a lot of weight and keep it off are statistical outliers.  Therefore claiming that they have some sort of superpower, super diet, drugs or magic pills.  It is insulting to the people who train and eat correctly.

Look here:

And here:

In case you think its only one type of person, with the featured male and female transformations:


So, on the abdication of responsibility theme:

  • It must be okay for single people to be lonely and not seek to better their attractiveness to help find a partner
  • It must be okay to drop out of school and not get an education
  • It must be okay not to progress in your career
  • It must be okay not to better yourself to be a better partner, father (mother), friend etc

Why pick these?  They all require work, dedication and a responsibility to yourself to improve your own situation.  By improving yourself, you improve your own quality of life and the quality of life of those around you.  it takes far less effort to sit in front of a screen and eat 3,000 calories in a sitting.

Oh, and as a parting shot to Golda who is against you buying diet plans, pills etc because it feeds a massive diet industry?  You are in on it too.  Don’t believe me?  Go visit her “little shop” or book some coaching via her website.

The Pubic Hair Discussion


In a group, in a pub having a few beers.  As you do, pubic hair comes into the discussion.  It is a surprisingly emotive discussion.

Most people said they did some form of public hair grooming, just to keep things neat and tidy.  The emotion comes from the opposite ends of the camp, kicked off by the woman who did none.  Au naturale, wouldn’t even dream of removing any hair and was quite proud of the fact.  Which is fine, to each their own.  My partner and I don’t really care what the other does as long as it means that we are not spitting hair out when, you know.

A couple of women came in at the other end of the spectrum.  No hair at all.  Fully waxed and were in fact, costing up permanent hair removal treatments.  They both did a lot of sport, swimming in particular, and were fed up about regrowth, stubble, anything poking through, or out.  They just wanted to get changed, get in the pool, do their drills and get out again without having to think about it.

Au Naturale took great exception to the desire for baldness.  Couldn’t understand why anyone would want to look like “little girls”, it was creepy and they should look like “real” women.  A male in the group who is heavily into bodybuilding must have been feeling particularly brave because he piped up that he was bald down their too.  Au naturale flipped out, thought he was disgusting and that his parts must look like a little boys.  She stormed off shortly after.

So who cares?  Unless you are wearing sheer clothing, walking around nude or are telling everyone, only you or your partner would generally ever know.  Surely its up to the individual what is aesthetically pleasing for them.  Or maybe practical issues, like sport, take precedence.

Why is she wearing a swimsuit to the office?

Part of the office culture here is that staff members do not have to report incidents, issues or concerns directly to the upper levels of management.  They are free to talk to someone lower down the order who will take it up on their behalf and they can bow out of the process at that stage should they wish.

This works well.  Some people can have concerns that they won’t be listened to or they feel intimidated about going straight to the top.  So, I’ll recall an incident here.

The title of this post was the opening to the conversation and it took me by surprise.  I remember thinking what, who?  It was a case of her over there and a brief rant about why the standard of dress was not appropriate.

To quickly set the scene, it was a hot day and the person in question was wearing a skirt that came above the knee (but not in breach of policy), a thinly strapped top (stomach was covered and very little cleavage showing) and heels.  A matching jacket was hung over the back of her office chair.  For certain, it was on the casual side of professional but well with in the rules.

Now I’ve seen a few swimsuits before, some more daring than others perhaps, but I can never recall one that I would (probably inadequately) describe as a skirt suit.  Alas per policy I had to report it in writing, describing the discussion and what the other party was wearing.  I felt like a catwalk MC who wasn’t doing his job properly “xxx was wearing a cream coloured……….”.

It was dismissed out of hand but a few days later the woman who made the complaint came to see me again.  She identifies herself as a feminist and a supporter of feminist ideals.  She said she hoped things didn’t go further with her issue, she was having a bad time at the moment and wanted to hurt someone and that someone was going to be the best dressed female in the office at that moment.

She had no intention of striking out at a male though.

Spiked drinks and rape culture

When you investigate the Red Pill, manosphere etc you will inevitably see references to feminism, rape culture, gender equality and a host of other topics.

I count myself fortunate that I’ve never had to encounter rape directly apart from the indirect incident described below.  It is neither horrific or graphic but it did give me, at least, pause for thought.

I had gone out with friends and we were heading to a karaoke bar.  The bar has a large area outside that is quite handy as it gives more than enough room for people to get into and out of the bar plus you can wait around for friends or a taxi without having to be moved on.

There is a little commotion outside the bar.  A young woman is slumped on the floor and clearly not in a good way.  She is being attended to though and people are mentioning that an ambulance is on the way.  A young woman is standing to the side looking on and I ask her whats going on.

Turns out that the young woman had been drinking, not heavily, but her drink had been spiked and shes having a bad reaction to the drink plus whatever was added to it.  I say that I had heard there was a spate of drink spiking and hopefully she’ll be okay.

I discover that the person I’m talking to is either a friend or a colleague, either way she knows the young woman well.  She is borderline angry/upset though.


She’s not happy with the young woman and whilst she is concerned for her health, had she been conscious she would have given her a piece of her mind.  It transpires that the young woman has spiked her own drink.  She wanted more of a buzz than the booze could have provided and the first part of the plan was if she was caught under the influence or couldn’t handle it, she’d use drink spiking as an excuse.

The second part of the plan was to give her an out.  What did this mean?  Well, if she hooked up with a guy and didn’t like what was going on before the bedroom she’d start screaming about her drink being spiked.  If it was after the bedroom and she felt ashamed about sleeping with him, she’d report him to the authorities saying her drink was spiked.

If though, she could handle it, liked the guy and felt good about herself after the bedroom, it was a case of no harm done.  Thankfully, and although you don’t wish ill on people, she didn’t get as far as involving a guy.

If she did though, how does the guy prove a negative (I didn’t spike her drink)?  Unless she is caught putting the stuff in her own drink, the guy is going to go through hell.  If someone else knew of her plan, could you count on them to do the right thing?


Nudge Nudge Wink Wink, Feminist on Penis Size

This was sent to me by a feminist:

Dream Penis Size Chart

Dream Penis Size Chart

I don’t know how this was calculated but it claims that an ideal penis length is between 7 1/4 and 8 1/4 inches and between 6 1/4 and 6 1/2 inches in circumference which is an “A” category.  Thankfully there are B, C & D categories for us guys to fit into.  Just don’t be an “E” category.

Of course, she wants a reaction.  “Well?”  She says, with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.  I just smile, after all we are all equal.